My mom is famous for her timely, pointed, pithy words of wisdom. One of those perceptive perspectives that has never left my thinking is this,
"You have one right, Steve, as a Christian, and that's to have no rights." The truths of those words still ring profound today. I completely agree with her with one slight modifier - we do have the right to be wronged
(1 Cor. 6:1-8).Being in music ministry for over 30 years you hear all matters of talk about artists, authors, evangelical leaders - those who control the publishing and music industry of religious content, etc. this is a given. And now add to this mix the blogosphere; where anyone with a keyboard can become an excerpt on most anything just because they post - never mind if they are qualified to speak. Blogging daily and interacting with many in the blogosphere can be a place of real blessing. Sometimes it brings out excellent times for genuine ministry and discussion to take place and other times, all it yields is sorely behavior, name-calling, insinuations, ill-treatment, and unsupported-wide-eyed assertions from those that
"think they are in the know." I have found that even when you are not responding to their childish rants, they will still rant about you or anyone who challenges them or disagrees with them. Soon, people are afraid to really express themselves honestly for fear of being vilified publicly. And for what? Just for offering another side to the proverbial coin. It is a godly exercise beloved to not respond with insult for insult; better to remain silent. It won't silent them, but you will be better for it and others will see this. Better to pray for them, and to learn again to die to yourself. I have been learning this again lately; and despite the less than Christian comments of others, I am blessed in God's providence to be in the crucible of grace being conformed to Jesus. It is not pleasant; it is painful; but all for our good and His glory. Amen?
You have to exercise practical wisdom on what you chose to believe and not believe about people and their failings; for everyone wants to feel like they have the latest word on the rumor mill. This unfortunately happens in the church too... doesn't it? What I am referring to the destructive sin of gossip; talk that has as its only purpose the determined underhanded demise of another. It is so conventional that among some Christians it could be considered a spiritual gift. Confronting eye to eye, an individual alone, is rarely if ever done in our day. Jesus' words in
(Matthew 18:15-20) not just suggest, but demand you go to another privately before even uttering it to another publicly--and even then, it is to only two or three to help mend the breach. But here is the problem: we are marked by "itching ears" in our culture today; hungry for those little tidbits of juicy rumor, jealous of others, or trying to elevate yourself by constantly putting others down; rather than simply insatiably craving and
living out the truth of God's Word.
THE TONGUE IS A FIREHave you ever been wrongly accused of something or just plain misunderstood? Have you ever had people gossip behind your back with false perceptions about your integrity or character? Have you ever biblically confronted a friend or family member in sin and been ostracized for the loving honesty? Have you ever stood for Christ in the work place and it cost you in reputation or promotion in a job? Even in the common ordinary day of our lives, it’s easy to become offended over trivial things, isn't it?. What’s worse, when we do get offended we end up savoring the bitterness, promoting ill will out of revenge to sooth our sagging pride or hurt feelings, conjuring up ways to “get even” with those who have wronged us, or possibly have spoken to others about it with no other motive or intent than to build-a-case to undermine the one who wounded us.
However, the sad and subtle quintessential way that we as Christians gossip about others behind their back is through...
prayer. I call it the “gracevine.” How many times have you received a phone call, been stopped by someone in the market, or even gotten an email with something about someone that is gossip, but it is cloaked in the language of "I don't want to spread a rumor, but here is what I heard about "so and so" and I am onlyl sharing it with you so you can be praying about this person..." We are all guilty of this aren't we? I know I have. I have been both prey and perpetrator of wrongly speaking about someone else—possibly you too.
If you have ever been wronged or deeply hurt by another, what should our response be? How are we to react or most importantly… act? Paul warns against “bitterness, angry, wrath, evil speaking, clamor, and malice" from taking root in our lives
(Ephesians 4:31). It grieves the Holy Spirit, causes fellowship to be broken between two believers in Christ, and a possible testimony to be scarred. Paul does exhort us to live in kindness, tenderheartedness and forgiveness with one another;
"forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven us."LET US CONSIDER CHRISTPeter tells us,
"when He was reviled against, He did not revile in return." When treated with scorn, beatings, and indignation
"He did not retaliate." When spoken of wrongly and accused falsely of everything from being a drunkard, to the friend of sinners, to even being Beelzebub the chief of demons,
"He uttered no threats." Even in the garden of Gethsemane the Lord said that He could have had twelve legions of angels (72,000 angels) at His disposal to fulfill His commands, yet He did not demand His rights, but
"entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly."""Keep about your work. Do not flinch because the lion roars; do not stop to stone the devil’s dogs; do not fool away your time chasing the devil’s rabbits. Do your work. Let liars lie, let sectarians quarrel, let critics malign, let enemies accuse, let the devil do his worst; but see to it nothing hinders you from fulfilling with joy the work God has given you. He has not commanded you to be admired or esteemed. He has not commanded you to get rich. He has never bidden you defend your character. He has not set you at work to contradict falsehood (about yourself) which Satan’s or God’s servants may start to peddle, or to track down every rumor that threatens your reputation. If you do these things, you will do nothing else; you will be at work for yourself and not for the Lord. Keep at your work. Let your aim be as steady as a star. You may be assaulted, wronged, insulted, slandered, wounded and rejected, misunderstood, or assigned impure motives; you may be abused by foes, forsaken by friends, and despised and rejected of men. But see to it with steadfast determination, with unfaltering zeal, that you pursue the great purpose of your life and object of your being until at last you can say, ‘I have finished the work which Thou gavest me to do’." -AUTHOR UNKNOWN
LIVING IT OUT THIS WEEK - CONSIDER THIS:First, if someone approaches you to tell you something about another person this week, ask the one telling you if they have gone directly to that person first, before they sin and repeat any matter to you. If they have not done so, don't entertain their story. Walk away, run if necessary. If they are not willing to go directly to the person they're talking about, then they are not motivated by God's love for that person, and their words should be treated as suspect or disregarded completely
(Proverbs 20:19).Secondly, if you have ought against someone go to that person immediately and privately to make things right. Out of our own pride or hurt and wounded feelings we will usually try and build a case against someone else to make ourselves look better or deflect attention away from our own issues. But it is sin beloved to do so. Even if you don't harbor ill feelings against someone, but you know that they have something against you, Jesus says to leave your gift at the altar, call them and seek to be reconciled
(Matthew 5:23-24).Thirdly, remember the great debt that God in Christ has forgiven you. Because of that you can forgive someone else the lesser offense. When we have a right view of our own sinfulness and a right view of what it cost our Lord to redeem our own sin soaked lives, we then can exercise grace and walk in forgiveness with another
(Matthew 18:21-35). Revenge or "payback" is never worth it. If you are in the wrong, then be quick to admit your own wrongdoing; seek to be forgiven and to forgive. If you are wrongly accused: then don't be quick to defend yourself--humility is better served by going the extra mile and bearing the insults of another. Bless those who falsely accuse you and leave them to God.
Fourthly,
"If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men" (Romans 12:18). This means that to walk the worthy walk, we need to put on the godly character of longsuffering, patience, humility, gentleness, and self-sacrificial love
(Ephesians 4:1-4) and put away bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, gossip and all malice
(Ephesians 4:31-32) . I don't know about you, but that takes "a work of grace" in my life to walk that kind of walk each day. IOW, extend mercy where there could be offense; extend love where there could be hate; extend grace where there could be revenge; extend peace where there could be strife; and extend prayer where there could pride.
"Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you" (Matthew 5:40-44).Here are some of our "rights" in Christ: - you have the right to turn the other cheek
- you have the right to be misunderstood
- you have the right to be gossiped about
- you have the right to go the extra mile
- you have the right to persecuted for your faith
- you don’t have the right to bitterness
- you don't have the right to get even
- you don't have the right to take matters in your own hands
- you don’t have the right to gossip about others
- you have the right to obey the Lord and not hurt others
- you have the right to be wronged.
“The Right to Be Wronged”
by Camp/Frazier
These are the worst of times; the best of times
Finding poetry when the words don't rhyme
Willing to surrender, to the cruelty of another
Learning to sing an unfamiliar song
Choosing not to fight, we are
Learning the right
to be wronged
You never know what a day might bring
Life's an unpredictable, twisted thing
Some days you have to turn the other cheek
But there's strength in being meek
You don't have to be a doormat you know
But revenge just cripples the soul
All our vain reputations are dust in the wind
Better to show grace; better to let them win
I'm going to lay down my rights
Going to give up this selfish fight
I will submit with all of my might
To the right of being wronged
It's not easy to live this way
But joy comes when you trust and obey
There's freedom when you embrace
The right of being wronged
It's so hard to reconcile
But love always goes the extra mile
To forgive the ones you'd rather forget
Takes humility and love, again and again
I'm going to lay down my rights
Going to give up this selfish fight
I will submit with all of my might
To the right of being wronged
It's not easy to live this way
But joy comes when you trust and obey
There's freedom when you embrace
The right of being wronged
By His Grace and for His Glory,
Steve
2 Cor. 4:5-7
