Do it all without the Bible! With network play enabled, you can steal members from other churches and earn points just like you saved them yourself. The possibilities are endless! To grow your church, work on all the strategic variables,
- Write a mission statement
- Choose a logo
- Get a billboard
- Hire a professional worship musician
- Book a rock band
- Buy plasma television for your PowerPoint presentations
17 comments:
That is sadly hilarious. The real tragedy is that the game sounds challenging and enjoyable enough that some developer might actually decide to code it.
How much does it cost?
Macintosh compatible?
Could use it for church staff training.
JRush
I have a friend who designs computer games for a living. I told him back in September he should design a game where you design your megachurch. I called it "Megachurch Tycoon". He told me it would never work!
Steve,
Man o man.
I honestly thought it was a joke, and I'm thinking, "Wow. Steve really out-creativity-ed himself this time. Brilliant satire."
Then it dawned on me, I went to Amazon, and there it was.
It's sophisticated enough that it had to have been designed by real churchmen, enough of whom are already playing the game in real life.
"How beautiful is the body of Christ..."
How ugly is the sad mockery of it by a game.
[with a tear and a "Maranatha"]
Terry
That is too hilarious, I would buy that game.
On a more serious note we need persecution in the Americian church so that we will be purified and be an Acts 2:42-47 church.
Steve, seriously, you just about gave me a coronary this afternoon when I saw that graphic...and I'm not kidding. If that had been for real, oh, my goodness......whew!
Terry--the amazon.com page is a spoof page--(I clicked on it myself just to make sure).;-)
BTW, at $38.99, that'd be quite the bargain, wouldn't it? I'm sure church growth consultants make that much in an hour. :-)
Of course this is a parody. It is a spoof, but boy does it make the point....
Campi
Camp,
"You an't Right!"
This was way to funny... But the sad truth is that many today see ministry this way... If you don't pastor a Mega-Church you are not much of a pastor!
Anyway, great spoof.
I stand chagrined.
That is one high-tech spoof.
Happily, I find a lesson for myself here, though. As an Amazon fan, my mind saw "truth" because "Amazon" said so. Not good. Lesson learned.
Thanks, y'all.
Good news that it's a spoof. Forget that "Maranatha" thing. (Just kidding)
Terry
Moxy:
Well done!!! This is fantastic.
Steve
We have a mega church in our area that we actually attended for a time - when it was less than half the size it is now. I asked for help with some spiritual warfare I was experiencing at the time but was told it did not exhist. I challenged the pastor and he ended up kicking me out of the church when he could not answer the response I had for his arguements.
We are now attending a church where the pastor distorts the Scripture and wants to be the leader of a mega church. GOd help us all and please lead us all to churches that uncompromising preach the TRUE GOSPEL and the Word of God as the basis for our faith.
But wait--there's more! And this one is real: http://www.wholebrainchurch.org/
Unfortunately, it ain't no game.
I am devastated to hear this is a parody. My denomination could have made this a national phenomenon (SBC).
To Steve Camp or whomever,
I really want to know what other leaders in the church think about the New Apostolic Reformation movement....talk about a growing mega church organization movement! I do know about a bit about Todd Bentley and this is not so much about him, but about this movement in general. I have very good friends (a married couple) who have not only gotten involved in this for years now but have become recognized as "apostles and prophets" and leaders who speak regularly in conferences around the country and worldwide. They are always into what they refer to as the "bliss" and "joy". These are buzz words everyone seems to use....all of which are highly emotional. There is no questioning of anything....no discernment of any kind as if anything that happen is always of God....regardless of how bizarre it looks. A good friend of mine asked one of the pastor leaders why she has never heard any teaching on repentance and he responded by saying, "We aren't doing that here, because God is doing a new thing now." Is he speaking for his own church or is he speaking for this entire church movement? I really don't know, but it sobered me when I heard that. People are very caught up in a party type spirit in services....very very emotional. On the outside it looks like everyone is praising God, yet I don't see a foundation on the Bible and it scares me for my friends and many who are getting into this. I don't see large mega churches growing out of this, except for larger meetings in different parts of the country which seem to get all the press, but its those smaller meetings that are everywhere and growing. People talk alot about praising God, worship of God, partying in the Lord. I know it easy to condemn anything or raise red flags of anything that doesn't fit into my own experience or knowledge of God. I've been a believer for 35 years and in full time ministry and I've seen a lot in churches everywhere. very sound and very unsound. But I've also see people change into real loving God believers through experiences that I would not feel comfortable with. I'm trying to not react to this movement, but there are things about this that just rub me the wrong way.
Jesus is building His Church the exact way he has always intended, from before the foundations of the world.
We need to be excited that we are, by His grace, contributing to the spread of the kingdom of God, and hastening the return of our Lord.
He is returning to this Earth, and He will then complete the finishing touches of making all things brand new.
The mega churches are simply bloated with a lot of unconverted Christians. Sad to say. The Gospel is the power that makes converts, not nice ideas.
Thanks Campi for keepin' on.
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