Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Favorite Vatican Christmas Carols
...what Pope Benedict loves to sing during the holidays

Begin the New Year with a song in your heart! Here is a blast from the past that I thought would warm your hearts on a very cold winter's day.

Enjoy...
Campi



I am told that these are some of the Vatican's favorite Christmas Carols heard sung around the Basilica by Ratzi himself:


-O Come All Ye Pontiffs
-We Wish You a Mary Christmas
-Go Tell it at Confession
-Away in the Magisterium
-I’m Dreaming of a Lite Purgatory
-O Rosary, O Rosary How Lovely are Your Trances
-Benedict is Coming to Town
-Tezt the Halls with Bulls of Ratzi
-O Little Town of Vatican
-There’s No Place Like Rome for the Holidays


And my personal favorite...
“The Twelve Days of Christ-Mass”


On the first day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Time off in Purgatory

On the second day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Two indulgences and time off in Purgatory

On the third day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in Purgatory

On the fourth day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Four anathemas, three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in purgatory

On the fifth day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
FIVE GOLD RELICS, four anathemas, three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in purgatory

On the sixth day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Six monsignors swaying, FIVE GOLD RELICS, four anathemas, three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in purgatory

On the seventh day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Seven extreme unctions, six monsignors swaying, FIVE GOLD RELICS, four anathemas, three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in purgatory

On the eighth day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Eight monks flagellating, seven extreme unctions, six monsignors swaying, FIVE GOLD RELICS, four anathemas, three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in purgatory

On the ninth day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Nine inquisitions, eight monks flagellating, seven extreme unctions, six monsignors swaying, FIVE GOLD RELICS, four anathemas, three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in purgatory

On the tenth day of Christ Mass my true Pope gave to me
Ten hail Mary’s, nine inquisitions, eight monks flagellating, seven extreme unctions, six monsignors swaying, FIVE GOLD RELICS, four anathemas, three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in purgatory

On the eleventh day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Eleven gay-priests leaping, ten hail Mary’s, nine inquisitions, eight monks flagellating, seven extreme unctions, six monsignors swaying, FIVE GOLD RELICS, four anathemas, three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in purgatory

On the twelfth day of Christ-Mass my true Pope gave to me
Twelve dead saints you pray to, eleven gay-priests leaping, ten hail Mary’s, nine inquisitions, eight monks flagellating, seven extreme unctions, six monsignors swaying, FIVE GOLD RELICS, four anathemas, three feisty nuns, two indulgences and time off in purgatory

27 comments:

Steve Weaver said...

Hee hee hee! Giggle giggle! Snort snort!

littlegal_66 said...

Now that's a contrast of lyrical styles from the same composer if ever I've seen it. Wow-talk about polar opposites....LOL.

Take it easy on the caffeine over the Christmas holidays, okay, Steve?

Jessica Jo L said...

I laughed I cried - I confessed;)

Shawn L said...

Very very funny

Breuss Wane said...

It doesn't matter how many times I read this... I'm still crying. :-)

littlegal_66 said...

I'm in agreement with Chad--I came back to the blog and read it again--the more times you read it, the more hilarious it gets. I appreciate the comic relief today!

And BTW---I love the photos of "Father 'Christ Mass.' " They look as though they've been photoshopped, but that hat is really what the Pope donned today at the Vatican!

Hessel-Man said...

It lacks the majesty and depth of your new Christmas hymn, and yet: riviting and poignant still. A true triumph of lyrical prowess. Although not exactly what I had in mind for "Christmas by the Camp Fire" (I see you're up to two songs now - thanks for indulging us... yes, pun intended), if you can get the muppets to sing it, I say record it!

Nonetheless... I was disappointed that we weren't given a statue of the virgin Mary that cried. What's Christ Mass without that?

:) Thanks for the laugh!

MarieP said...

I just thought of a new word, tell me what you think:

"Ecucynical"

John Rush said...

When does the CD come out? Maybe you can get NPR's "Fresh Air" to do a review for you. I'm sure the critics will love it.

JRush

anoninva said...

That is like, so mean.

Kristina said...

haha That was great! And not to change topics, but my word he is a creepy looking man! Ok, back on topic, "Eight monks flagellating"

Whew! that was great.

Jeremy Weaver said...

Ha ha ha!

DOGpreacher said...

Were the eleven leaping, or 'limping'?

Joel said...

Cute, Steve. Amusing in sort of a National-Lampoon, junior-high sort of way.

Jonathan Moorhead said...

I was hoping the gay priest would make it in there.

Shawn L said...

Steve Camp,

My wife says "I wonder if catholics are paying an indulgence for visiting your site"

Breuss Wane said...

If "visiting Steve's site" = exposure to the truth, visiting Steve's site would actually add time to purgatory, I think. :-)

sf021 said...

What can I say... It is nice to see grace personified!

When my daughter was born we called her Charis because sometime we realise that the church shows a lack of grace to both those outside and those within.

I wept, but not tears of laughter but of dismay.

Steve I really think that you have become the very thing you use to preach against. You once wanted to call an album something like 'the church fiddles whilst the lost burn' where is that compassion for the lost now? Too busy laughing at the lost in their misery.

I fully expect this comment to be gone within minutes.

Remember the verse you quoted to me when I first left a comment.

Col. 1:9-14 - though this seems to be the verse you reserve for those you question the motivation or salvation of.

Stuart Fraser

ps my mother is a 'Romanist' with whom I have shared the Gospel many times and who I still hope to see in heaven, God willing

I will check for a reply

SJ Camp said...

No offense meant to any nonbeliever over this post. Just some good humor.

However, as this blog stands for, on the doctrinal issues especially the significant error of the Romanists on the gospel (justification by faith) you won't find a blog that treats those things with more seriousness and biblical truth.

The Pope's Christmas Carols are a bit different though.

Thanks for your comment...
Steve

Joel said...

Ah, yes. Christmas... that time of year when even Protestants have to admit that Jesus had a mother. :)

The carol titles were cute, though. And it's true that we do dream of a Mary Christmas.

SJ Camp said...

Joel
We Protestants admit that Jesus had a mother in incarnation 365 days a year.

The difference is:

1. We don't worship her
2. We don't pray to her
3. We don't believe she is co-mediatrix or co-redemptrix with Christ; but a sinner saved by grace through faith in Christ alone.
4. We don't believe that she escaped the stain of original sin
5. And we don't believe in creating idols in her likeness to be revered.

But we honor her as the one whom God chose as a favored woman to be the vessel to give birth to the Messiah.

We also take literally her words in John 2:5 when Mary speaking of the Lord Jesus said: "Whatever He tells you to do; do it."

Merry New Year!
Campi

Athanazius said...

"Just some good humor?"

From the guy who wrote this:

"Confronting Error...do it biblically, seriously, and leave the silly attempts of sarcasm behind"

Shame on you.

Tonya said...

There is nothing good in this type of humor.

Joel said...

Athanazius and Tonya, I disagree. What Steve is making fun of is a straw man, although I think he sincerely believes it to be so.

Frankly, if the Catholic Church were as Steve thinks it is, I'd leave it in a heartbeat. Since it's not, I can chuckle at his poking fun at a stereotype that doesn't really exist. (Maybe it helps that I've been a Protestant and understand where the misconceptions come from.)

jimlrael said...

You're kidding, right? OR NOT! Now I have to try and sing it for next Christ mass, I mean Christmas, Yeah

Dom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dom said...

I find the attempted joke with the words 'Christ Mass' funny because that's exactly what Christmas is. It's the Mass on the feast of Christ's birth. Christ's Mass became Christmas.

Maybe you should come up with a different name for the celebration. You must feel rather silly having to borrow from the Church you dislike so much.