HAVE SOME "PUN" ---> E - N - J - O - Y
If crime went down 100%, it would still be 50 times higher than it should be. ~Washington, D.C. councilman John BowmanWe need stronger death penalties ~Ross Perot
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing ~Dizzy Dean, baseball star
Most of our future lies ahead ~Harry Truman
I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them ~George Bush, Sr.
The more killings and homicides you have, the more havoc it prevents ~William Daley, former Chicago Mayor.
The police in Chicago are not here to create disorder, they are here to preserve it ~Ibid.
The heck with the public! I am here to represent the people ~New Jersey state senator
Things are more like they are now than they've ever been ~Gerald Ford
Every man loves his native land, whether he was born there or not ~Thomas Fitch, author.
If I told you the truth, I'd be a hypocrite ~Samuel Goldwyn, on a musical.
I'm always open to honest criticism from you judgmental creeps ~Robert Altman, film director on critics
I hate intolerant people ~Gloria Steinem
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child. ~Vice President Dan Quayle ~
Mars is essentially in the same orbit... somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe. ~Ibid~
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.~Football commentator and former quarterback for Washington Redskins -Joe Theismann~
You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle ~Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach~
You guys line up alphabetically by height ~Ibid~
The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes to see the game anymore. ~Yogi Berra~
30 comments:
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits"
- Albert 'Norman' Einstein
Those were good.
Good quote, Cyd. Stupidity has no limits. Something to ponder. :)
I collect puns and funny sayings that happen in my day to day life. These aren't exactly "confused quotes", but since you got me smiling, I thought I'd share some with you:
A homeschool mom emailed us that her 5 mo. old grandson cries all day long, and almost never stops. And they've tried everything, but nothing helps.
And I thought "Boy, what a melancholy baby.":)
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Terry said, "Airplane flying at 12 o'clock."
Mike said, "When you said that, it was at 2 o'clock. Now it's flying at 10 o'clock."
I said, "How time flies!"
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The sign said "Help Wanted" on the window as we were walking into the restaurant. So I said, "Terry, you want to wash the dishes after we eat?"
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It's a good thing I was looking for my notepad, or I would've never known it was lost.
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I forgot to take Aleve before I left.
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(I think you'll like this one, Steve.)
Regarding blog traffic, I told Michael, "Daddy has his 1000's, and Steve has his 10's of 1000's.
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A man fell asleep with a cigarette in his hand, burned his arm and hand, and so he had to have some bone removed from his arm. So, this other man said to him, "That must have been "a wake up call" for ya. Huh?"
That's all folks!
Thanks, Michele. ;-)
BTW, did you know that 5 out of 4 people struggle with fractions?
No.
Hey Cyd, why is it that if you sneeze during the church service, no one says, "God bless you"? Just wondering.
Michele, I had a good morning laugh with those puns!!!!Puns are fun. Thanks from your SIL.
One of my all time favorites that I've had taped to my desk for years is from Sir Boyle Roche, an 18th century member of Parliament:
"All along the untrodden paths of the future, I can see the footprints of an unseen hand."
BLAINE
"All along the untrodden paths of the future, I can see the footprints of an unseen hand."
CLASSIC! Thank you...
Campi
Michele
why is it that if you sneeze during the church service, no one says, "God bless you"?
Because... no one wants to be "nosey." :-)
Cyd
did you know that 5 out of 4 people struggle with fractions?
I think 60% of the time that is 100% accurate.
Janice
I had a good morning laugh with those puns!!!!
Me 2. A much needed break from the heaviness of some days. "Laughter is a good medicine."
Campi
:-)
Steve, Don't know if this would undesirably change the tune of this thread (to negative), but a couple of the quotes (like "I'm always open to honest criticism from you judgmental creeps") reminded me of the Emergent-See posters linked from the TeamPyro blog:
http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil/posters.htm
Darrin
Not to negative at all.
Phil Johnson did a marvelous job on his "Demotivator Poster" spin offs with his emergent pomo cultural emphasis.
Good insight. Thanks,
Campi
Janice,
Welcome SIL. You caught me at it again.
BTW, my car battery went dead and we were trying to figure out why.
I said to Terry, "Every battery has a life."
And Terry said, "But not much of a life 'coz it just sits there."
Your SIL,
Michele
This was too funny and just what I needed. BTW I loved your comment on Terry's blog today. It was rightfully said and needed.
I am a new blogger, so could someone please let me know what BTW stands for. I have been trying to guess, but a while back I thought LOL meant love something.....?
BTW, it just came to me! If Jesus had the internet when he told his parables, He could have said, 'some seed were thrown BTWside. No pun intended....
Janice,
BTW=by the way
LOL=laughing out loud
LOL (lots of love),
Michele
Thanks Michele! LOL to you :)I will make note of those.
A Marriage After His Heart,
So glad you were blessed. Look on Steve's posts at Jan. 25 and Jan. 22 for more on pro-life (2 videos).
Janice,
'some seed were thrown BTWside'
That's a good one. But to clarify, if Jesus had the internet, he wouldn't have said it. He would print, "It is type-written..."
Opinions are like blogs, everone's got one.
Rick Frueh circa A.D. 2009
Janice,
If you're still out there...I just watched the movie "Deja Vu" for the second time! :)
(Just had to get that one in!)
Michele, it probably just feels like you watched it the second time....."I feel kind of like I've watched this movie before".:)
Yeah, I guess you're right. It was probably just deja vu all over again.
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