Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Things That Make You Go...

For "Pork and Beans"...



Can you cry under water?

Why do you have to " put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?


cyd said...

Whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word lisp?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical questions?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

donsands said...

Sweet stuff. Enjoyed that.

"Why do we park our cars in the driveway, and drive on the parkway?"

Carla said...

What you all don't realize... is that Steven Camp is really Steven Wright.

Pork & Beans... *snorts

jen elslager said...

Oh, Don, that was mine! You stole my thunder.... what does that mean, anyway?

Funny stuff! Thanks for the giggles, Campi!

Captured! said...

My dad has been saying for years that he is losing the hair on top of his head, and now it is growing out his ears and nose! Why is that?

RonaldJ said...

Finally - a post that I can actually finish (and fully comprehend) within my lunch break!!

Thanks for making us think, Steve.

Denise said...

Cyd, I just literally laughed out loud! =D

4given said...

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

On the other hand you have different fingers.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

For all those bloggers out there: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

For all those mystics out there: I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

For all those people who like to talk about nothin': Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.-- Harry S. Truman

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

ann_in_grace said...

Thank You for this good laugh.
Those English prepositions, constant pain for my poor students...
I just love to torture them ;)

Terry Rayburn said...

My son Michael (age 12) has a couple of favorites:

There are three kinds of people in the world...those who can count and those who can't.

I don't use contractions.

littlegal_66 said...